I am back on deck after spending more time being a Mom and a Coach and less time blogging so thanks for your patience :)
I wanted to share an exchange I had recently which is typical of many I have had over the last three years. I was talking to a friend who is a very intelligent, compassionate and professional woman. She was sharing with me that one of her friend's has just started on a diet initiated by a physician that involves 'mostly lentils and green veggies' (her words) and not much else. The woman undertaking this diet is keen to lose weight and I can only imagine that when being guided by a physican we would assume we are being given sound advice. I asked if this woman is having trouble psychologically with this kind of denial and the answer was a resounding 'yes'. 'She won't even feed her kids the same diet, so why would she be prepared to have it?' my friend wondered.
Now let me be clear - this is NOT an exercise in criticising this woman for her diet choice. This is more a message about the absolute pervasiveness of the belief that we must DENY ourselves to extreme levels in order to lose weight. Really where is the common sense in all this? What could be more punishing?? When I say to you that it has been proven that the denial approach (which = diet) sets up a psychology of absolutely positively, wanting, needing and ultimately obsessing about the food/s you are witholding I am sure you would agree from your own personal experience that this is true. You are a greater person than I am if you can decide that you will no longer eat chocolate and then not resort to gorging on a family block (or dare I say cooking chocolate) at some point! Time is the only variable here - eventually we will all binge on chocolate.
BUT if we decide to take the opposite approach and make NO food off limits, but instead gradually change our eating habits to include more healthy options and less junk then we will find that elusive long term successful weight loss. And guess what? We will also allow ourselves to indulge on our favourite treats that may be junky, but we will savour and enjoy them and rarely binge on them.
So Ladies I implore you if you haven't already please stand up and say a FAT 'NO' to any more diets, denial or extreme eating regimes. Dump them all in the bin for good. Replace all this punishing behaviour with gentle, loving kindness towards yourself and how you treat your body. Sounds too good to be true? Many women just like you have proven time and time again that it is not. This can be your reality. You can have your cake, and eat it too.
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